Misery Loves Company

So your best friend talks entirely too much!

  Has way too much drama!  

And you dam sure don't know what trick she pulled to get that man to marry her.  

But lord you love her crazy ass to pieces anyway; 

Right?

And if you didn't love her so much you'd cut her ass off.  

Because she ain't ever gonna get right with all of her,  Uggghhh!  

And please don't get me started on that man of hers; Uggghhh!  

Not to mention all the weight she's gained; Ugggghh! 

Lord if you'd seen them edges you would have driven her to the salon yourself on the spot......uggghhh! How could she let herself go? 

But you didn't drive her to the salon that day because you were counting pennies riding on fumes.   

And if you cut her off--- you'd be the last crazy standing.  

At least listening to her;  your man is something like Fabio, 

Fanning you out by the pool on a random Tuesday morning wearing a polka dot bow tie with a Garden fresh strawberry between his teeth still wearing crystal dew drops on it's stem.

   Listening to her;  your shit doesn't stink at all!  

Imagining her pop out of her britches everyday-- you really feel kind of skinny.   

So skinny as a matter of fact you start eating at Subway.  

Then one day you realize while eating your tuna melt on seven grains of extra whole wheat, 

 That your best friend forever hadn't even called to speak.

You start to sniff around smelling the tuna and it makes you think;

Without such & such in your life -your shit kind of stinks.

Your life kind of suck!

So you call your best friend forever to see how she's doing; 
 to get you out of your rut.

DAM!

When we start painting our own picture; there's hardly a moment left to judge.
Who are you keeping around to enhance your life?  Is it really enhanced?  Really?

~twanna shontay~

Blissful Wish

I wish I had been there that day in Colorado

When we wore bikini’s and drank mimosas outside in winter’s snow.

A natural isolated hot spring flowing from the earth’s own crust

Hosted us with tranquility and serenity;

As if we were diamonds unroughed.

But I had razor bumps y’all.

I wish I had been there that summer's day in Town Forgotten, D.C.

When Griff and I were on that crowded train.

Headed to an infamous hotdog house; a hole in the wall

Over yonder by what’s it name.

Where the music was blasting and the Africans were laughing

And dancing their asses off in the street.

I wish I could remember the place gosh darn it!

But I definitely won’t forget that train and the heat.

I wish I had been there that cold January’s day

When Martin’s wife Corretta Scott King the legend died.

When I stood there in my Atlanta apartment

Watching the city mourn and laid down instead and cried.

Awwww man.....I wish I had been there that magical night in Biloxi,

When Cir du Soleil chose me to be a guest up on their stage.

Made me into an angel; halo and all

Then flew me around the place.

I wish I could do it all over again

I’d walk nude in the snow as I am.

I’d straddle that train and ride that crowd,

Dance and feel at home with the Africans.

I’d sign my name at the hot dog house; somewhere on the wall next to all the stars;

A futuristic token that I too was there ~Twanna Shontay~  scribbled with a little heart.

I would have jump in my Beamer, jet streamed my lady in the middle of Atlanta's downtown, 

Fought my way through the massive crowd

All the way to the front shouting:

I’M BLACK AND I’M PROUD!

I would have taken my wig off that night in Mississippi,

My halo had finally found it’s way home.

I would’ve spread those wings to New York City,

But those moments are over and gone.

I should have been there y’all!

Are you present in your life?  

or Are you Sweating the small stuff; letting the good ol'days pass you by?

Guess what: They're all good!  

You should be there!

Thirty Something & Beyond

So here we are; ALIVE!  

Not dead by thirty like most of us thought.

 

What do you do now?   It’s a point in life when you realize you’re too old to let your common sense out smart you and you’re not sick enough to die an unsuspected death in your sleep while ironically wearing your favorite pajamas.  Oh yeah, with your favorite song on repeat too, after having your favorite meal in an obsessively clean house with fresh cut gardenias on your night stand and a subtle scented name brand candle burning through the night.  It will be hard for you to explain how your otherwise healthy ass woke up dead.  

At the very least I were to be the love interest of a suave Italian bank robber named Salvadore Viotelli who came to America for a hundred million dollar heist.  The one who couldn’t leave his newly discovered chocolate drop behind after I'd made a personal visit to the treasury to see what was up with my refund that day.  It was his love for me that spared the teller’s life after his eyes met mine overflowing with lust and fear quivering in a corner nearby panting, "take me, take me."

With our hearts throbbing in criminal unison and sirens blarring nearer; I was too fling myself into his arms moments before we levitated into the hovering invisible get-a-way copter just above our heads.  We were to jet set around the world eating exotic foods in remote locations losing our religion in the mile high club.   I would be fatally shot left to die in the snow moments away from my 30th birthday while exiting our private jet named, "Tesse"on a runway in Japan wearing Chinchilla and rare diamonds.  Salvadore would weep helplessly at my side throwing now worthless notes of green backs into the air like confetti that made  beautiful melancholic music as they crashed down against the blood stained snow.   Screaming at God in his native tongue and harmonizing with the voices in my head.  I would have closed my eyes, placed my right hand above my heart clutching my diamonds and died a beautiful death with my lips puckered for one last kiss.  "Goodbye Salvadore.  Te Amo Mi Amor!" 

But apparently that didn't happen. So here I am 36 alive and well; blogging for all it's worth with ball chain and a baby in tow.  No back up plan, just straight winging it....yikes!  

If I'd planned on living like I did dying I bet I'd bet be dead by now....SMH.

Toss the pills and be flexible with the plan.  Keep on living and just let the beauty of life unfold.  

 Take my Salvadore, Tesse and a few million if you must.....I'm done.  

I have my Esteban, Isabella and Hawaii.  

Not my plan..............Something bigger & greater was lurking

Hallelujah!

p.s.  "if you want to make God laugh; tell him what your plans are." 

Every second is the possibility for a miracle.....hang in there tiger

~twanna shontay~

I'm Sorry Ms. Jackson

Part II of Back Back - Back Back Give Me 50 ft.......

So I was babbling about this mental trip and the consequences of opening a can of whoop ass.

I'm tapping ass.  God is shaking his head and the devil is hammered. 

Rolling on the floor laughing his ass off.

 So when I looked up, God was leaving

Neck still in hand and her nose was bleeding.

O.k. o.k. o.k. o.k. o.k. okay I'll stop!

But God just kept on walking and IN burst the cops.

♪NOBODY MOVE-NOBODY GETS HURT!♪
Now get your hands up!

My hands went up!  The startled Devil upchucked;  Ms. Jackson became possessed.

The Devil’s vomit (full of venom) spawn little venomous devils on her chest.

“Shoot that bitch officer before she tries to flee!
Charge her with Attempted Murder, Kidnap, Assault & Battery"

"Ssshhh, ssshhh, ssshhh, ssshhh, ssshhh Ma'am you're in distress.
She'll get her charges read in court for now she's under arrest."

Two days later when I made bail; I got an invitation to dinner with the devil in hell. We took some shots & discussed my case; He told me how to plea:

"Not guilty Your Honor!  
By Reason of Insanity
I demand to be released!"

The Judge peered over 
&
Brushed the dirt off her shoulders,
Rolled her eyes and mumbled
something in utter disgust.

 I hearby sentence you my dear:

 To ninety days of the following then you must reappear.

Anger management classes, community services

&

Therapy twice a week."

WTF? That shit is steep and I began to weep.

God, stepped in and corroborated:

"Your Honor, you're right 
Violence of any sort will not be tolerated

My child, 'your honor' is on her journey 

I take over now as her permanent attorney.

I AM GOD, and I run this here

She's not insane, let's just be clear.

Misunderstood; perhaps a bit disobedient

My master plan though; her secret ingredient.

I knew it served her well to take those licks

Yes she took it too far when she let'em rip.
Release her with fees, I'll bring her home with me
Service in the community and therapy will happen naturally.
When all the money is gone, she then will confide
I'll make her apologize to Ms. Jackson and the laws she'll abide.
We've got bigger fish to fry, she's working undercover for me
We'll be back in ninety days, trust me 'your honor' faithfully.

~twanna shontay~

~He loves us all~

 

Back Back- Back Back......

GIVE ME 50FT.........

WHEW!  That Diva before me is a hard act to follow:  I've been warned you guys are a tough crowd...Badum-tish!

Thank you chicks & dicks for hanging in here with me tonight……give yourselves a round of applause....

O.K.

   Nobody move! Nobody gets hurt!

 Yep,  just got back from a mental trip and Lawdhamercy;  
It's gon' set ya back good and plenty to slap the taste out of some poor soul's mouth these days.
Let's not even get into what opening a whole can of whoop ass will cost ya.  Jesus Christ!

Yeah so like I was saying: I was on this trip and repeat violations of my personal space forced me to draw  a line in the sand_________
I repeated:
NOBODY MOVE!  NOBODY GETS HURT!

 Then BAAAAMMMM, right in the nose.  "I said NO MOVING!”  (All that dam breathing.....).

Staggering towards me in disbelief obviously begging for the blackout (Lord what's come over me): 

Fuck this shit I couldn't resist.

I clinched my fist

&

Bopped like this.

I looked around the coast was clear,

Looked up at God, "I Run This Hear!"

I Bankhead Bounced then reeled her in

Was choking her out but my Christ Within

Wouldn't let me lose no more religion

"Let her go!  I AM GOD! It's my decision."

I looked again before loosening the grip

Got the nod from the Devil; so I let'em rip

I tch..tch...tch..tch tapped that ass
Don't know shit 'bout me and why I'm mad.

God was in the corner justa shaking his head
The devil was on the ground laughing taking shots of gin to the head.
To be continued:.........

"Back in the day when we were young.  I'm not a kid anymore, but somedays I sit and wish I was a kid again."

Eskista vs Bankhead Bounce
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLTl-EaxLYA

~twannashontay~

See Saturdays' Post for Part II 

"I'm Sorry Ms. Jackson"

This Little Light of Mine

DREAMS

Tangled mangled little premature liars

Whipped souls and damaged hearts set dreams on fire.

Burn dream distractions I’m remembering yesteryear.

Daydreaming all day long can’t remedy this fear.

Fear I’m too black and I talk like this

With feet like these & Wobbly hips

Fear of failing, falling hard face first

Turtle doves tiddle towards whatever quench their thirst.

It rolls down hill, shit that is....

Dreams a million sequestered.

My mama’s mama, her mama’s mama, no daddy means

We’re bastards.

My daddy’s daddy, his daddy’s daddy, no daddy means

Disaster!

We rumble tumble and mumble grumble

We crumble fumble and fall

Gotta shake it -take it or make it- break it

WE GOTTA LIVE IN COLOR Y'ALL! 

                                                          

~TWANNA SHONTAY~

     

 If you can believe it...you can achieve it! 

&

i believe IT!

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

cHILL oUT.....iT'S jUST A qUESTION....GOSH!

Black Don't Crack & Love Don't Hurt

"Built like a stallion....I saw you out running the other day 
If I was a slave owner I'd definitely offer top pay

Your Back, legs and arms so strong guarantees your proper handling of a mule....."

 WTF! That ain't no compliment.  Man that shit ain't cool!

I was thinking more Cleopatra, Sade's Jezebel, 
Nina Simone at the very least.
 But a slave underneath the sun; pushing a mule?

 I see blood on the leaves;
Loaves of sugar monkeys jumping on the bed
Singing Kumbaya My Lord, Kumbaya.

 YOU PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON DEAR

ooooooh the HYPOCRISY IS LAUGHABLE and STILL I RISE.......


In reality: words hurt sometimes especially when they come from those we trust with our feelings.  Even if they land upon your soul's surface by accident they often leave us scarred, insecure and confused about the definition of love and friendship.
We are all uniquely different on purpose and its high time we know, clean out our circles and
Feel good about all the many aspects of ourselves and keep it moving understanding whole heartedly
 that:

I's got me some living to do.  

Who's sleeping in your bed and drinking out of your cups?